Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
