I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
