Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
nutella sex= disaster
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
