Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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