I cockslap morals
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
