it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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