Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
