So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
