he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
