she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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