a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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