i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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