We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
