Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
