Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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