I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
