we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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