Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
