is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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