omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
A+ Viking dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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