let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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