fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize