So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize