people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
