if you like me you must not know who I am
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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