i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
