I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
