I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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