dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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