Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
