This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
