I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
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At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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