Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
