im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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