i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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