About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
