Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
