is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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