We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I look better un-naked...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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