just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
