I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
