i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
