I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
