you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
