Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i used baking grease as lip gloss
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
