Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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