I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
