So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
