She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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