his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
