just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
