Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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