How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
