your room smells of hookers.
And success
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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