so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
