i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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