How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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