I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
