i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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