when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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