my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's never too late to be topless.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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