I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
