that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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